triggers, hipsters, and my mother would have liked facebook

But first -- the best thing to have come out of Rockwell's Urban Bazaar EVER:

Smile if you're gay! And then carry on.

Favorite things for this Sunday: Whistlestop's buffalo chicken wings, Starbucks' iced signature chocolate, matching shirts, InfectThemAll (whoo ipod touch games, panira ng buhay!)

Least favorite things: Ants. Who like to crawl over clothes. Especially my underwear. (Overshare but - OUCH.)

jesus, is that what I think it is--

2:00 p.m. Done with today's newspaper. Turns out: We have a Super SWAT thing that went unused on Monday. Mamarazzi has mixed reviews. And Aga Muhlach is already 41. Oh jesus.

Life roundup: Solo flight yesterday was a success. Eastwood with the Ates last night was awesome.

And oh, jesus, CHRISTINA HENDRICKS!

One day, I'd like to be this polo able to wear a guy's polo this sexily.

GAAAAAHAS($!*@#(!)!#*$!)(#@! you do know I'm lesbian, right?

as long as i have limbs

or, alternatively, a running tally of this day, to amuse myself

Today's mantra: Today, I am a one-woman powerhouse. I will be a machine and I will be unstoppable.

*

radio silence

i.

Oh, I will figure this out eventually; perhaps when your chair is empty and it's after nine o'clock, and I'm left to lock doors and glass cabinets. It's always the silence that gets to me. It's what got to me in 2007; it's what will get to me when the dust clears (maybe tomorrow).

The phrase that hits me is, What holds up half the sky. Weren't we that, once -- you holding up your end, me holding up mine, the two of us plodding along, steadily trying to work miracles on a six-day work week. When I look back at that -- how, really? One Saturday, we're in La Union. The next thing we know, it's a Sunday and we're lying face down on the floor of the office, trying out surfing moves on a flat, unmoving surface, bruises still fresh on our knees; the midterm elections looking us in the face. Too young and too far away.

There a lot of little things that go unnoticed, though not necessarily unappreciated; I've worked alongside you for four years, wrapped in the comfort of your presence, calming like a steady hand above a jittery heart. It's been like that for four years, and then suddenly it isn't; perhaps it will take a longer while to get used to this absence, as with all old habits we have to shed. If there's one thing getting older has taught me, it is this: that we form habits only to break them. (It's a good thing I've had practice with cigarettes, is all I'm saying.)

ii.


Life round-up: Banchetto on Friday, 35th monthsary/haircut on Sunday. Nine fatalities on Monday as a dismissed policeman hostaged 25 people on a bus in front of Quirino Grandstand in Manila. Hostage-taker Rolando Mendoza died along with 8 tourists from Hong Kong. Venus Raj won 4th runner-up in the Miss Universe pageant Tuesday (Manila time) in ceremonies held in Las Vegas. Miss Mexico grabbed the title; it was well-deserved. The Q&A could have gone better, but I believe Venus did her best and personally, I feel proud.


iii.


Doing what you like - that is freedom. Liking what you do - that is happiness. When things get murky I close my eyes and listen to myself and it's really surprising how at the bottom of it all, the voice inside me is saying, Yes. After all this time -- yes.

iv.


Dear love, get well already so we can cuddle. /end-sap

rolling with the punches

You know what they say -- you gotta roll with the punches. I've been resisting this auto-template-design-thing for ages, but then in the absence of code I can cannibalize for "older entries" -- le sigh. I'm usually not comfortable using anything I don't understand the barebones of (I looked at this design's HTML and it's all like... pfft.) but what the hell. It's supposed to be easier, so.

Slow clap, you win Blogger. First you stop my FTP, and now I'm even abandoning the rugged comfort of classic templates for this alien autothing. *sob*

(I am willing to bet that didn't make sense at all.)

*

Sunday summary:

+ Finally, Dad got around to installing one of those double-lock things I've been planning to install. Christ, how had I ever thought of installing these things alone? My father, armed with electric drills and chisels and stuff, and an experienced carpenter with x number of years under his belt (snicker) took a couple of hours just finishing the thing. In conclusion: Whatever age, dads are always super. Thanks Dad. :*

+ Feature SMGC purchase of the day: Casual rubber shoes and heavy duty PE shoes for Wy, casual shoes for me, WOODEN MUG HANGER-WHATEVER (love!) In conclusion: So happy.

+ So, I've discovered a new song from Lifehouse?
Lifehouse - From where you are by thegshift

of aftermaths (the year of pleasures, berg)

Elizabeth Berg's "The Year of Pleasures" reminds me of Joan Didion's "The Year of Magical Thinking" in terms of subject matter. Like Didion, whose book chronicles her process of coping after her husband John Dunne died in December 2003, Berg's female protagonist Betta Nolan here is also struggling in the aftermath of her husband's death, incidentally also named John. And before you even ask: No, I don't actively seek out books about death and coping, but you see I've always had a soft spot for anything that discusses death and discusses it well (like, remember this?); I admire anyone who manages to have the right words for loss and anguish (Didion most especially; I can't do it in fiction, but Didion did it and it was all fucking real.)

(Mandatory cut for spoilers)

today's finds: how to be alone; saying things unsaid (a roundup)

HOW TO BE ALONE by Tanya Davis (full text below cut, from here, thank you)

inday monday

Warning: Contains domesticity.

At Shopwise this morning, I bumped into Kim at the toiletries section; I was busy logging prices of grocery items (such is life when you're shopping with GC's) and I nearly bumped into his cart. When I looked up, I saw him, exchanged the mandatory, "Uy!" and then asked, "Haha, ito rin assignment mo today?"

(I heard Almi's sick - get well soon, bebi!)

*

So, today I:
- purchased my weight in liquid zosa and domex
- bought a shit ton of breakfast stuff like oatmeal and milo
- hoarded napkins and pantiliners as if  we were preparing for a nuclear holocaust
- bought a new rice cooker *hearts*
- sent out the laundry
- defrosted the ref
- did a bit of tidying
- edit: replaced the old aircon with a new one (yay thanks nay!) and carried the old unit through six flights of stairs. CHAMPION WEIGHTLIFTER WIN.


*

Also: I am trying out soundcloud! Here be PlayRadioPlay's "We've been searching the sky" -- because I'm kind of hooked.

  prp-wbsky by thegshift

the angel's game, zafon (2010)

Carlos Ruiz Zafon's "The Angel's Game" starts like this:

"A writer never forgets the first time he accepted a few coins or a word of praise in exchange for a story. He will never forget the sweet poison of vanity in his blood, and the belief that, if he succeeds in not letting anyone discover his lack of talent, the dream of literature will provide him with a roof over his head, a hot meal at the end of the day, and what he covets the most: his name printed on a miserable piece of paper that surely will outlive him. A writer is condemned to remember that moment, because from then on he is doomed and his soul has a price."

First paragraph: SOLD! WE HAVE A WINNER!

(Cut for generally non-spoilery rambling)

let's do an UPCAT post!

(So. Ten years ago on this same weekend, I took an exam that changed my life.)

First weekends of August are special, especially for high school seniors, if only for the fact that on this weekend, the University of the Philippines opens its doors and gives its prospective freshmen a sneak peek of what it's like to be here -- yep, it's the weekend of the UP College Admission Test, the Holy Grail (LOL) of all college admissions tests in the Philippines.

On this weekend, thousands of hopefuls troop to the University to take the exam - which can only be taken once and never again. Last year, there were around 67,000 examinees. Re-reading the requirements and general UPCAT FAQ over at the website makes me feel nervous all over again LOL.

and now, for my gayest project ever

(Ohai Michelle Rodriguez. Irrelevant sexy photo is irrelevant)

So. Remember how last night, Andrea and I were discussing the possibilities of having an awesome movie that will put Angelina Jolie in a single film with every. single. tough chick ever...?

Believe it or not, this actually had plot. We cast Mila Kunis, Kaya Scodelario and PLL's Torrey DeVitto as Angelina Jolie's sisters (a.k.a. Goddamn it, that's the most goodlooking family EVER) and I remember there being sex, drugs and kidnapping somewhere.

(I should totally have recorded that conversation last night, but I'm pretty sure it went something like:
Her: Why would these people fight anyway?
Me: Someone kidnaps someone's sister?
Her: But in reality, nagtanan lang pala sila nung sister nung isa.
Me: WIN.)

Also, in the spirit of wanting a movie with Eva Green and Marion Cotillard being French and lovely together:
Her: We could totally cast Eva Green and Marion Cotillard as lovers. They can be in the Russians group with Angelina Jolie.
Me: I love you FOREVER.
Her: With Amanda Seyfried.
Me: *DIES*

And since we have that Asian faction:
Me: And then we can cast Gaby dela Merced with the Asians, right?
Her: HOT.

*

So. Here you go.
Offsite link here: Badass chicks being badass - a massive picspam involving girls with guns, mostly.
Aaaand also -- an offsite link of the other non-gunholding but just as badass girls

"please take your panties off the security camera." -- salt (2010)

Salt (2010)

Let it be known here that should Angelina Jolie ever retire from filming action flicks, I WILL CRY. Oh god. I missed gun-toting Angie SO HARD. I mean, she was hot in Wanted, but this?

(Things I loved about Salt, a.k.a. Total lesbian flailing below cut aka SPOILERS)