rest in peace, francis m (1964-2009)

(photo from francis magalona's facebook fan page)

a sad thing happened today -- rapper francis magalona passed on around noon. he was 44 (b. Oct. 4, 1964). he came out with the news that he had been diagnosed with leukemia in august 2008.

about half a year later, he's dead.

it's one of those really surreal moments. first there was an email from a co-worker asking for confirmation. apparently, the news first broke on noontime show Eat Bulaga. i'd never seen that show that muted, as if a heavy cloud was upon everyone.

but then, revisiting the announcement on primetime news, i couldn't help tearing up myself.

mr magalona, a pillar in the philippine music scene, left behind not only his wife and their 8 children, but legions of fans as well. i heard he was even slated to perform a special number in the Eraserheads concert tomorrow night. the fact that he won't make it leaves this indescribable gap. and i'm not even the biggest music fan, to begin with.

francis m's death strikes a chord too near the heart - he and my mother died of the same disease. in an interview with a doctor aired over primetime news, the doctor said francis m suffered from a rare, fatal kind of leukemia. the same news outlined the symptoms of the disease, and suggested that adults over 40 have regular checkups and blood tests. my mother wasn't even 40 when she died - she was 38.

the doctor's explanation in layman's terms, of how the red blood cells and the bone marrow and all that fit into the perfect picture of a life-threatening condition, somewhat sounded familiar. i never really got to the nitty-gritty of my mother's death; i had resigned myself to the fact that i was not one made for these kinds of truths. but perhaps, one day, i will understand, too.

one day, i'll be ready.