This day has been insane, love, and I would tell you all about it if only you were here - I know you never really were too fond of whatever it is work-related that I always obsess about - Fucking Gordon filed a lawsuit against SURVEY FIRMS?! Is he out of his mind? - but today was exceptionally busy and I've always looked forward to cuddling after long days like these, but well.
Wherever you are right now - in a hotel in downtown Beijing perhaps where the lights are always perpetually red, at least in my head - I know it must have been a pretty scenic day; from what I hear China's a pretty country and I'm sure you're having a swell time now taking pictures and perhaps drawing a little, or writing a little. One day I will be well off enough to travel myself and I will be right beside you taking it all in.
But yeah today around here's probably less interesting than your Chinese version of it; mostly, Schatzi and I fended off requests one by one, just the two of us, a whole barrage of them. I kept my calm and carried on; it was surprising, that, because usually when faced with so many things it's so easy for me to get overwhelmed and frustrated, but for some reason I was focused and quick to work actually, the words coming to me easily, the things I needed to find always just a few cm's off my fingertips. It was nice, feeling this efficient, but at the end of X hours I just felt immeasurably tired.
And so here I am, typing away at home - it's a Friday night and the rest of the 20something population in Makati is probably off somewhere partying and yet here I am at home as early as nine, doing chores and drinking lukewarm beer. Incidentally I read somewhere that it's Earth Day Jam on Timog tonight -- wasn't that where I first watched you dance haha, that night a couple of years ago I sent you off with all too many awkward words on a taxi and then tried to keep you awake on the way home by telling you over text how I in fact liked you? Haha my flirting style was so outdated it pains me to remember how I had executed it at all, in the first place.
But then here we are, aren't we -- 900 plus-plus days of togetherness (as Microsoft Excel could clearly attest) and now you're x number of kilometers away in a foreign land. I hope you see pandas and tell me all about them when you get home. I hope you eat a lot of good Chinese food and tell me about them, too. You can be my eyes in that faraway place while I spend my days here trying to keep things together until May 10th.
Last night, I was out with Cy, Ice and Almi and we ate a lot of chocolates at Maitre and then had drinks at Whistlestop; it was nice and fun and the chocolate made me feel high to a degree and the beer made me sleep a little better, yet when I woke this morning to the blaring speakers and firecrackers of a fucking congressional candidate at around 8 -- you know how it is, I am easy to jolt and so I woke with this thumping in my chest and that you're not there frightened a severely disoriented portion of me (the one that's perpetually seven and clingy).
I am looking forward to going home to my parents this weekend; it's been a while since we were last together.
That said -- I miss you and I am thinking about you, hard; I stare at my phone and think about calling, and then I remember you're not just in Ilocos or Bataan but some other country entirely. God I hate this part about being separated by big bodies of water and country codes, and really, today I checked your LJ and Tumblr twice for any sign that you may be, I don't know, eating well, at the very least. I am not worried, I tell myself this over and over; your parents are amazing and sturdy, and you guys are the most experienced tourists I know, but then you do know what I mean, right, when I say I am worried.
So hurry home and be here soon and yeah, tell me about the pandas.
Love, me.
No comments:
Post a Comment