4.30.2010

dispatches from a lonely room - night 9

Dear love,

It's better tonight than the last two ones, but just the same, to be on the safe side I said no to the outing; maybe next time we'll join them together? That sounds more fun, doesn't it.

So right now I'm taking a breather. I am not loving how my body comes up with illness like this every now and then, as if to show me where exactly I'm going wrong. It's been a few days without soda/caffeine/alcohol and I'm doing well. Today has been busy as my usual Fridays go and I guess that helped a little in forgetting that I am in fact in pain somewhere.

It's already the first of May a few hours from now and I'm just happy you're coming home on the 4th (or is it the 3rd?). These past few nights I've begun dreaming about your skin; this is the longest we've gone without each other, wasn't Bangkok last year just nine nights? I've been having intermittent sleep and in the snatches of dreams I manage to remember, mostly it's about you holding me. It's like a haunting, but not the bad kind, only when I wake up half the bed's empty and there's only space. There's always a split-second of sad silence, that minute upon waking and not finding you there, but it's all right - what's a few days more, yeah? I've gone this far.

Anyway. I was emptying our laundry today and the thought of you washing your clothes there made me smile. I hope it's not too cold anymore, I hope you didn't get sick in that weather, I hope you're coming back home with only good memories and fantastic pictures of places and a notebook full of stories that we'll have to stay up for nights and nights and nights just to get through to the end.

Love,
Me.

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