someday, this too will make sense

(I feel sad this isn't going anywhere. So I chopped off the rest and kept three paragraphs. Murder.)
She asks about how you are, and you think, how is this so easy, falling back into old routines of How-was-your-days like nothing hurt in between today and the last day you saw her? Seven years. Is it long enough for things to be written off, just like that?

And yet, you say, "Older and wiser," smiling as you lead her into the kitchen, pulling out a seat for her at the table and flipping a switch on. She squints at the light, and she suddenly looks so young; something tightens in your chest as your heart turns itself over. "You?"

"Older," she just says, shifting her eyes back down to the surface of the table. "A whole lot older."



jaro, leyte (2010)

Monday, the day after the wedding started really early -- following Krista, Wy and Dad's departure for Manila on a 6 a.m. flight, we also had to move so as to get to Jaro on time. I've always been fond of Jaro, a town that's about half an hour's drive from Tacloban. It's where the old house of my maternal grandparents still stands to this day. My recently wed uncle, an engineer by profession, built it for them before he left for abroad more than ten years ago.


uncle ed's wedding! (the proper post)

First things first: My uncle got married last Sunday! We were all in Tacloban over the weekend - it was the first time all my mother's siblings, their spouses and all their children were all present in an event that's *not* a wake/funeral. Hurray for family togetherness!

Here have a photo of a family camwhoring in an airport:

(Mandatory Cut. Do not proceed if you're allergic to: weddings, gold, my face, THE SIGHT OF MY HUGE ARMS OMFG.)


a wedding!

I'm off to Tacloban for the weekend because my uncle's getting married! He's my mother's youngest brother (five of them in the bunch, mom being the eldest, and auntie being second to the youngest) and he's coming home from abroad with his wife and 16-year-old daughter to finally have that Church wedding that's about a decade and a half in the making.

I'm excited to get back to Tacloban - haven't been there for years, and the last time I was there for a wedding was in 1991. I was seven then and I was a flower girl in Auntie Benda's (Mom and auntie's other sister) wedding. I remember my gown was itchy as hell and that back then there was only three of us - me, my three-year-old sister Krista, and four-year-old cousin Mark.

Here, an illustration for your guidance:

1991. A time when the rest of the kids, including my own brother, haven't even been born yet. Imagine a time like that! Whenever that wedding comes back to me, it's always in flashes of old dusty photos like this one hehe. Krista and I were raised with Mark as practically our brother, and that time I thought it was just going to be the three of us FOREVER AND EVER. Haha.

But then we know how that turned out. The rest of them came and now we're all older and I'm now 25 and Krista's 22 and Mark's 23 and we're returning to Tacloban for another wedding. I'm not a flower girl anymore -- I'm not even a bridesmaid, but a reader and the reception emcee, if the invitation is to be believed. (EMCEE! SA RECEPTION! SNEAKY I TELL YOU! SNEAKY!)

I remember in 1991 we were holed up in our Lola's old house in front of the school where she once taught and when we got there she started introducing us in speedy Waray to the Invisibles of the old house (so as not to get sick) and then at night we kids would secretly chip away at the cake hidden in the kitchen while the elders were elsewhere and when the wedding day came and they discovered the half-eaten cake they'd just concluded, "Rats." We never spoke of it again LOL. That was fun. That was the last time I think I got away with anything. Ah, old age, you suck! LOL.

In that house my Lola had an old black and white TV and an old Family Computer and in the days leading up to the wedding Mark and I would sit and play Battle City maybe or take turns with Circus Charlie and do you know how hard it actually was to play those games sans color? Yeah, we didn't mind either.

I don't know if that house still exists -- a few years later my grandparents moved to another house entirely, and it's the same house along the highway that saw both my Lola and Lolo's wakes in 1994 and 2002. They're buried together in the same spot in the nearby cemetery, and I remember that their tombstone had lyrics from Color it Red's "Paglisan" -- I kid you not. I'll take a photo if it's still there and readable.

Since I was too young in 1991 to really enjoy a wedding, I'd always associated Tacloban and Jaro with deaths in the family, so really I'm just glad this time around it's for a wedding again -- even if I'm aware that, being of marrying age now, I hereby run the risk of being asked about my own wedding plans.

Sabi ko nga, magpakasal kayo dahil pwede kayong magpakasal! Kung pwede nga kaming magpakasal siguro kasal na kami kahapon pa! LOL.

Anyway. Too complicated so. BRB practicing my ~sly smile. =)


ridiculously amazing photo time!

This morning, Andrea and I woke early because she joined this year's Robinson's Fit and Fun Run at the Fort (like she did last year). I think last year I said something about running this year, but as usual, I played Baggage Counter instead and sat at the Medics' booth listening to my iPod (to ward off people who were probably considering asking me about band aids or something) until I noticed people with their 5k jerseys already coming in through the finish line. LOL. I'm the most useless former sportsperson EVER.

Anyway. This is just an excuse to show off this adorable photo:

Her: (after the run) Tara, sabi nila may giraffe daw sa grounds! Pa-picture tayo!
Me: Ows? 

Hahaha OMG I am so in love with this girl *smooshes you*. I should totally compile photos where we posed with ridiculous mascots (like Pilandok at SMX or those pandas at Rockwell haha)

ANYWAY. Here's the deal re: what we've been up to this weekend over at her LJ. :)


oh, a domain?

LOL so I actually managed to code a bit of my 2008 backlog at the domain TODAY.

Productivity is productive, and dorky intermission is dorky. (Oh, I've totally forgotten having written this, by the way.)


anatomy of a pick-up line

So yeah, so the downside of dating a pretty girl (LOL) is that at some point guys young boys like her. They come up to her, and they become all awkward and they start saying all these unnatural, otherworldly things, like:

Boy (give or take 22 years old): So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?

STOP RIGHT THERE. *clears throat* AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, now that that's out of my system, let me make the case for why that should be, under other circumstances, a pretty clever pick-up line.

1) It flatters you.
A. Wow, he thinks I have a car.
B. Wow, he thinks I'm financially able to have a car -- to buy one AND to put gas in it. (Or at least my parents are - buena familia!)
C. Wow, he thinks I'm actually skilled to drive.
F. In summary: WOMAN OF THE WORLD.

2) Asking about parking makes you think like HE ALSO HAS A CAR.

3) And the chances of it getting the undesired response are actually slim:
A. Scene: Yes, she does have a car and she knows where to park.
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: Oh yeah, I'm parked at (insert space here)
Assessment: Confirmation that she has a car (Wow hot chicks who DRIVE YEAH), plus added knowledge of where to park (If the boy has a car in the first place LOL)

B. Scene: Yes, she has a car BUT she doesn't know where to park/has a problem with parking pa nga.
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: Oo nga eh, I've been having a hard time with that too.
Assessment: BINGO! YOU CAN HELP. OMFG. Downside: If she asks for help and YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE A CAR -- oh man, that sucks.

C. Scene: Yes, she has a car BUT she doesn't bring it with her to Makati because, um, why?
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: Sorry, I don't bring my car to work eh.
Assessment: Confirmation that she has a car and that she doesn't bring it to work (Oh man, chicks who know better than to drive to Makati = HOT)

D. Scene: She doesn't have a car. You are horribly mistaken BUT she is polite enough to ask about yours.
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: Naku, I don't have a car eh, baka iba yung sinasabi mo. Ikaw ba?
Assessment: BINGO! NOW YOU CAN BRAG THAT YOU HAVE A CAR. Downside: LOL kung wala kang kotse, eh... di ba weird? HAHA.

E. Scene: She doesn't have a car. You are horribly mistaken. PERIOD.
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: I have no idea what you're talking about.

Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: Well, you heard it wrong. That makes your second question irrelevant and unanswerable.

Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?


LOL, and oh, btw, a last scenario: F. Scene: She doesn't have a car. You are horribly mistaken. AND ALSO SHE IS GAY AND SHE WILL TELL HER GIRLFRIEND LATER, WHO WILL END UP WRITING THIS GUIDE TO CHOOSING PICK UP LINES CAREFULLY.

So, public service announcement: You guys, that's my girlfriend. Please stop picking her up. Thanks! :)

That is all.

Bonus: Also, if KStew doesn't play for our team I'll be horribly disappointed.Really. That girl is so awkward and adorable I kind of want to go out and have drinks with her and ask her about her first girlfriend, or something.

ETA: Julie's rejoinder via text made me LOL (Ate, you're da best):
So, are you either:
a) Incredibly flattered that guys are making passes at your gf;
b) wanting to buy a car for your gf;
c) amused at such lame pick-up lines
d) amused that guys can't tell if someone is gay.

Answer: LOL mostly D.


i wanna be where the boys are!

Oh man, The Runaways. You know I'm totally smitten with something when they suddenly show up as blog template design, I kid you not.

Number of times I've re-watched the movie, in whole or in part: seven EIGHT.

Standard disclaimer: Dakota Fanning is SIXTEEN, you guys.


Pardon all this red, though. Some movies strike me as a sort of color, and definitely, cherry references aside, this film is RED. Brutal, still-raw-wake-of-fingernails-down-your-back RED.

Also, Kahlua may or may not be at fault for all this pretty subdued yellows.


Yesterday, the parentals picked me up for some late snacks/early dinner with my siblings at Banapple on Morato. Their food is good AND cheap, yum. Also, I finally saw my sister's new flat, and man, her bathroom is HUGE.

How huge?

Me: (upon opening the door) WOW, CHRIST. Ilang shower stalls meron sa loob nito, tatlo?
Krista: Sabi ko sayo eh.
Me: Shet, ang hirap linisin niyaaaaan.

LOL. Of course, my first concern would be cleaning it. Actually, I wanted to clean it upon seeing it... okay, WEIRD.

ALSO! I met my brother's supposedly "annoying" roommate (LOL "dark" horse - tm PDI inauguration supplement) yesterday. And he was CUUUUUUUTE. I mean, how can you hate a little boy who looks like Mort from Madagascar?:

Here, an illustration for your guidance.

HAHAHA. Also, have you seen my brother? He is now taller than Krista, and you know Krista's like, a ~giant or something. Haha. Growth spurt ahoy!

Wy: (Nagsusumbong, annoyed) I mean, he switches the lights on to text, in the middle of the night -- ano ba wala bang ilaw yung fone niya?!

I swear, my brother is going to be Queen/King Bee or something! I APPROVE! Wala pang nakakakuha ng ganyang status sa aming magkakapatid as far as high school is concerned! GO TEAM GO!

Oh man, siblings. How are yours? ♥


re: second chances (a rejoinder)

Oh you and I, we used to have a grand time together, dining in nice restaurants, having our share of sinful desserts, drinking hot choco while watching movies -- what happened? When did the falling out start? This morning, when I woke up I had no idea I'd be parting from you this soon. I thought we were going to work it out? What happened to second chances?

So yeah. Maybe, you know, sometimes second chances just don't work. Maybe I am better off without you. Maybe the point was giving it a shot and falling short of expectations in the end. Suffice it to say: No more what ifs now.


Damn, I've forgotten how painful it actually is to have a tooth taken out -- it's been what, a decade and a half, since that time I had my molars taken out in preparation for braces? -- so the sheer pain of the whole event jolted me, is all; I actually spent a bit of time crying inside the dentist's office and a few hours back in my apartment whimpering LOLOLOLLL EMBARRASSING. (I used to be so badass, Christ, what happened to me)

But I am better now, and I think I will be better in the days to come. No more shitty toothaches that threaten to split my head into two. No more waking up and thinking, maybe today will be the last day you will hurt me. I am done.

We are done. (Thanks for the molar memories. LOL.)