anatomy of a pick-up line

So yeah, so the downside of dating a pretty girl (LOL) is that at some point guys young boys like her. They come up to her, and they become all awkward and they start saying all these unnatural, otherworldly things, like:


Boy (give or take 22 years old): So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?

STOP RIGHT THERE. *clears throat* AHAHAHAHAHAHA. Okay, now that that's out of my system, let me make the case for why that should be, under other circumstances, a pretty clever pick-up line.

1) It flatters you.
Dissection:
A. Wow, he thinks I have a car.
B. Wow, he thinks I'm financially able to have a car -- to buy one AND to put gas in it. (Or at least my parents are - buena familia!)
C. Wow, he thinks I'm actually skilled to drive.
D. AND IN MAKATI TOO!
E. AND THAT I KNOW ~SECRETS ABOUT WHERE TO PARK IN MAKATI!
F. In summary: WOMAN OF THE WORLD.

2) Asking about parking makes you think like HE ALSO HAS A CAR.

3) And the chances of it getting the undesired response are actually slim:
Dissection:
A. Scene: Yes, she does have a car and she knows where to park.
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: Oh yeah, I'm parked at (insert space here)
Assessment: Confirmation that she has a car (Wow hot chicks who DRIVE YEAH), plus added knowledge of where to park (If the boy has a car in the first place LOL)

B. Scene: Yes, she has a car BUT she doesn't know where to park/has a problem with parking pa nga.
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: Oo nga eh, I've been having a hard time with that too.
Assessment: BINGO! YOU CAN HELP. OMFG. Downside: If she asks for help and YOU DON'T REALLY HAVE A CAR -- oh man, that sucks.

C. Scene: Yes, she has a car BUT she doesn't bring it with her to Makati because, um, why?
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: Sorry, I don't bring my car to work eh.
Assessment: Confirmation that she has a car and that she doesn't bring it to work (Oh man, chicks who know better than to drive to Makati = HOT)

D. Scene: She doesn't have a car. You are horribly mistaken BUT she is polite enough to ask about yours.
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: Naku, I don't have a car eh, baka iba yung sinasabi mo. Ikaw ba?
Assessment: BINGO! NOW YOU CAN BRAG THAT YOU HAVE A CAR. Downside: LOL kung wala kang kotse, eh... di ba weird? HAHA.

E. Scene: She doesn't have a car. You are horribly mistaken. PERIOD.
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: I have no idea what you're talking about.

or,
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: Well, you heard it wrong. That makes your second question irrelevant and unanswerable.

or,
Boy: So, I heard you had a car. Where do you park?
Girl: GUAAAAAAAARD!

HAHAHAHAHAH.

LOL, and oh, btw, a last scenario: F. Scene: She doesn't have a car. You are horribly mistaken. AND ALSO SHE IS GAY AND SHE WILL TELL HER GIRLFRIEND LATER, WHO WILL END UP WRITING THIS GUIDE TO CHOOSING PICK UP LINES CAREFULLY.

So, public service announcement: You guys, that's my girlfriend. Please stop picking her up. Thanks! :)

That is all.

Bonus: Also, if KStew doesn't play for our team I'll be horribly disappointed.Really. That girl is so awkward and adorable I kind of want to go out and have drinks with her and ask her about her first girlfriend, or something.

ETA: Julie's rejoinder via text made me LOL (Ate, you're da best):
So, are you either:
a) Incredibly flattered that guys are making passes at your gf;
b) wanting to buy a car for your gf;
c) amused at such lame pick-up lines
d) amused that guys can't tell if someone is gay.

Answer: LOL mostly D.