She asks about how you are, and you think, how is this so easy, falling back into old routines of How-was-your-days like nothing hurt in between today and the last day you saw her? Seven years. Is it long enough for things to be written off, just like that?
And yet, you say, "Older and wiser," smiling as you lead her into the kitchen, pulling out a seat for her at the table and flipping a switch on. She squints at the light, and she suddenly looks so young; something tightens in your chest as your heart turns itself over. "You?"
"Older," she just says, shifting her eyes back down to the surface of the table. "A whole lot older."
*
So tonight I am staying up worried about this rain - the thing I miss most about living at home is the fact that I can sleep at night and rest assured my dad would know how to deal with the roof leaks, whereas out here I have to stay up and get the buckets ready. Sigh. Adult life. Last night, it had to do with ants. Damn, ants really do sense rain don't they -- they panic and then they try to hole up in someone's pantry. WHAT UP WHY MINE.
Quick rundown of everything else that has happened, post-wedding: Inception (OMFG THAT MOVIE), UP's heartbreaking loss to UST (we had it at 69-68, went to OT, lost it there because woody co can't shoot freethrows), the SONA supplement and the requisite miracle-working (snicker), the 34th monthsary, Pretty Little Liars (if you aren't watching -- WHY AREN'T YOU?), a flooded Sunday, SONA itself, The Collective, Elizabeth Berg's "We are all Welcome Here" (Thanks Kat! ♥), this redesign.
Sometimes, I think -- maybe I have to learn something new. I mean -- Andrea's taking up French; I'm just taking up space. I don't know if it's the weather, or if it's people getting wed, or people getting sick, or aunts and uncles getting old -- but I get this feeling of losing time, like I'm always running and catching my breath and still something's undone and... I don't know.
Sometimes I think about going back to school and meeting new people -- Do I get an MBA because it might be useful or do I get a Creative Writing degree because at least it'd be fun, despite its potential uselessness? LOL. I don't know. The things filling this life... are important things, but for some reason, I keep asking myself -- they can't be the only things there, can they? Surely, there has to be something else. *shrug*
we have ants in our kitchen, too, so don't take it personally, haha.
ReplyDeleteSilliman U is conducting a survey re: opening a Manila branch! Is it okay if I send you and Drea the form?
ReplyDeleteI have nothing good (read: comforting) to say except *hugs* (maybe it's just the rain?) and I hope you feel better soon (-:
Also, you're welcome! Elizabeth Berg! <3
\o/
bebi - dang sneaky creatures! kahit asin pinapatos eh, parang end of the world. haha.
ReplyDeleteKat - send us send us! :) Silliman opening a Manila branch should be ~interesting. Ah, it's the weather, and probably PMS LOL. thanks! (And you, I hope you're feeling better too.)